Way to go Monday's 1/14/2013

So, I wanted to go two things each Monday. First show appreciation and celebrate what I have accomplished over the past seven (7) days and second set goals and intentions for the next seven.

This is my first Monday (1/14/2013) doing so.....

I give thanks for

• The breath I continue to breathe
• My active mind
• Self Motivation
• Beyonce and Halle for showing what is possible 

I appreciate that

• I set goals and achieve them
• Work hard on my school tasks
• I am motivated

I celebrate

• The squats I did everyday in the past 7 days
• 99.60% final grade I just received
• Making the Dean's List (the entire time I have been in school)
• My inner beauty and the reflection it casts on my outer beauty
• The adjustments I made towards becoming my best self

I set the goal of

• Completing  two fasting AM workouts
• Completing  three workouts at work
• Drinking at least 64oz of water this week
• Joining, Practicing and Enjoying Bikram Yoga on Saturday's

I intend to

• Rise early daily
• Be present with my best self  
• Love wholesomely
• Make my weekly meals at home
• Be responsible financially
• Be blessed as well as a blessing  

Con Amor,

Love is... TL

Learning

So as I set out to be my best person inside and out I realize one thing ..... Everything is a learned behavior. EVERYTHING!
I, of course, know a thing or two about this as Behavioral Science is what I am studying and what I am passionate about.
Yet applying what it is you know and feel passionate about can take loads of effort.
My goal is to be the me of my dreams. I fully believe this is possible, I am a dreamer. So I looked to where my best self or my dream self has shown up in my life. I examine what skills and patterns I had when that dream self showed up.

Here is what I know for sure:

The very First thing is that I must continuously worked at being my dream self. There is no time off from me and therefore attaining my dream self will be an everyday event.

Secondly, everyday is a new day. Allowing my rest time to be a time to tap into the divine and offering my self the benefit of dreaming, recharging and connecting to my source is a necessity. Waking up to a new day would then be like having a new start every 24 hours. It would behoove me to that full advantage of that new start daily.

Thirdly, having a routine that is dependent upon the day and is flexible becomes beneficial. Knowing what you are doing each and have it coordinate with each day opens up the opportunity for me to create days suited to me living my dream self.

Fourthly, living is a journey. Life is an adventure that has to be explored. Playing the back and allowing each day to past is not living. I read that the inmates that create a routine and go about living life even while imprisoned often are more productive then people with mega positions within companies who simple show up in their own lives daily. What a gift it is to show up and show off just for yourself daily!

Lastly, I AM every amazing thing I think I AM. There is not grandness no grace in playing the back within your own life and your dream self is not backseat taker. A friend once said I want to be on front street with myself,  I wholeheartedly agree with her (LOVE YOU PLUM PUDDIN). There is no success in fear yet love is always triumphant! I believe that therefore I AM LOVE!

So as I continue to dream of my best self I will continue to work at being my best self. May my trip be blessed with my own efforts to be my best self, habits that are most beneficial to my best self, the belief in myself that my best self is possible and the understanding that this adventure is bound to be amazing day after day!

Con Amor,

Love is...TL

A Pathway towards......

So having a pathway towards your goals help to ensure that the goal is attained.

Goal: A healthier lifestyle

Pathway: To be aware of what I am doing, eating and thinking and ensure that my thought processes revolve around health and contentment.

Step one: Drink water at each meal
Step two: Plan Meals and meal times
Step three: Do not eat the yum yums (sweet, strachy or carbie foods) after 530
Step four: Have protein with each meal.
Step five: Have a back up plan
Step six: do multiple shorter workouts
Step seven: Monday's are juice days
Step eight: Sunday's are raw days
Step nine: Plan when to eat out
Step ten: Eat an apple and berry mix daily
Step eleven: Make and drink my water mixes
Step twelve: Take supplements and vitamins
Step thirteen: Follow my beauty routine daily
Step fourteen: Follow my practices
Step fifteen: Have reflections of positive thought processes around the me always
Step sixteen: Document my process
Step seventeen: Never doubt myself
Step eighteen: Never fail to plan
Step nineteen: Trust my intuition
Step twenty: Know within my soul I can achieve


Taking my first steps!!!
Con Amor,
Love is...TL

A plan

It's Winston Churchill who said "He who fails to plan is planning to fail" during World War II.

For me I have to actually do something to actually see how that is affects my daily life. So after a couple of days of trying it out I have constructed a plan for my morning workouts. 


On Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday I will do what is called fasting workouts in the morning. I will do at least 20 mins of cardio followed by 10 mins of stretching. 

The goal here is to get in extra cardio throughout the week that will be beneficial to my body type. 

The other side of this is I have to remember to eat. I mean I have to seriously eat breakfast after I work out. Sadly this is take more effort on my part then the actual workout will. 

Here's to having a plan.

Con Amor,

Love is...TL

Work it out

We gotta just let it work out, right? I do truly enjoy working out, always have. As I worked out this weekend I was reminded of the idea that not everything works out as planned. I have been super hard on myself each time I do not complete whatever is on my to do list fast enough. Thing is I always have the list in the back of my mind at the ready to be completed. This constant reminder is stopping me from living fully in each moment. I am not getting joy out of being, living or even completing my to do list. It's not working out. 

I am a planner my nature... honestly my lists have lists.... yet I truly want to live in each moment. I took a look at what living in each moment means to me over the past three days and realized that ONLY I have the power to persuade myself. 

Living in each moment has some how become lounge around the house as much as possible and do nothing. The concept came out of me doing so much everyday. So I had convinced myself that if I do nothing then I am giving myself the ability to live in the moment. Yeah... RIGHT!! I just enabled my own laziness. Yes, granted I am in school full time, work a full time job and am a single mother. Honestly, my story in this regards is not unfamiliar or uncommon. And at the end of the day you just have to WORK IT OUT. Balance is the key yet beyond that knowing what you want is essential. 2 lbs of water is very different then 2 lbs of flour. In other words finding the balance does take some degree of planning as well as some degree of adventure. 

I have given up ALL the adventure to enable the laziness. I am great at finding someway to endorse whatever it is or how I am living. Which in itself is an amazing talent. I just have to work it out so that it is doing more good then harm. 

SOooo.... I have to figure out what is flour and what is water. Water being the things I need to sustain myself and flour being the pleasures of life. 

Water: Work, school, motherhood, healthy eating, drinking water, exercising and sleeping

Flour: Reading, writing, crafting, traveling, hiking, listening and dancing to music, watching films and communing. 

Looking at my flour, which is not a whole lot, I realize that side of my scale is lacking. Sure I do some of those but not all of those things and definitely not in an abundant ways. It even seemed, as I was writing the these, that some of the flour would be like chores or tasks to complete compared to my water. Questions like where would I find the time, how do I even start, why would I waste the time or that is going to be too difficult came up. Realizing that those questions are fear based and self conversations of lack I wrote my list anyway. Having a list to add to the list is not my goal here. My goal is to see where I can add balance to my life. 

Now that I have a list I get to work it out. 

Action

It is time for some action. I had stopped writing cold turkey because I felt like I was being inactive. Ironically that is when my whole world just started to feel unbearable. It was uncomfortable living as me in a world without words to connect the dots of my alienated lifestyle. The weight gain can be attributed to many things * I guess* but mainly to my INACTIVITY, period ! Sooooooo....... it is time for some action.
My current barrier is time.... I know I know everyone needs more time. I totally am not making up excuses  okay yes I am but I am being honest as well so EASE UP, as to why I have not taken action with this yet. I know I can do it, feel it in my soul and recently I was able to visualize it.
My mind is always running all over the place. Back and forth with self talk the verges on amazing while tickling destructive verbiage.

So I am holding my self accountable to the world ... wide web, of course, to stick to the plan.

Here are my goals

1. Get my WATER intake up ....
          100 oz a day
2. DO my AM 30 min workout
          yoga, stretching and cardio-strength training
3. Get my eating schedule down
         eat clean and often
4. DO my PM high intensity workouts
         just follow the plans
5. Sleep more hours each night
         get 6.5 or more hours of sleep
6. Love the journey; evolve within the the adventure

Honestly, when I started with #1 I thought this is going to be a crazy long list.... but it is only 6 goals. Each very doable; all attainable. I will go in to greater detail as I accomplish each goal.

I have gone back and forth in regards to a goal weight. (My head just exploded with random thoughts .....way too many to write down) I am just going to pick some numbers.
My Goal weight is ...... 139
I read somewhere (I READ A LOT, Currently like 6 books at once) that if you state a complete by date it is more achievable.
My Goal Date is ..... 9/25/2013

I'm not going to worry about it being realistic or not. I'm just going to shoot for it.
So here is to writing and TAKING ACTION!!!


Con Amor,

Love is...TL


     

Effort

My daily struggle is internal. I can see how well I do with setting goals yet I want to live freely. I can see how determined I am at attaining my dreams yet I want to live in the now. I can see how steadfast I am at carrying a heavy load yet I want to let go and let be. My daily struggle is internal. 

So this entry is about my ongoing battle with releasing weight. Today I am at the heaviest I have ever been. After not looking at myself in a full length mirror for over six months I had a glance in my daughters the other day. I was upsetting to say the lease. I have always had the thought process that I am beautiful in the inside and the outside should not matter. If I remove the should have, could have and would have along with the negative from that statement I am left with "I am beautiful in the inside and the outside matters". I read somewhere that then is the essence of my thoughts, what I will manifest more of. Having my outside physical appearance matter changes my entire focus. 

I have failed at giving up on vanity. Honestly, I enjoy looking attractive in clothing that I truly appreciate wearing. The problem has been that over the past three years I have steadily gained more and more weight making it impossible to wear the types of clothes I enjoy. I have paraded around as if I do not care when in reality it has weighed heavily on my heart and mind so much so that I've turned my back to my own reflection. 

Now ... Let me clarify I am a doer... a busy body ... a resolver. I take action. It seems that all my planning, my plotting, my reading and my stressing has not been enough to push me to put effort into creating change. 

Every now and again I find myself in this sort of position. I am fully aware that all it takes is a single step yet somehow I never make the effort for that step or I attempt the step but stop mid stride. It is all so painful emotionally and oh so tiresome mentally. I like to think I know better yet my actions speak otherwise.  

SOOOOOOOO..... I do not believe that there is some magical pill that will change my mindset or my physical appearance, although I wish there were. My truth is I deserve the effort it takes to create the change yet fear stands in my way. 

*sidebar.... funny thing about fear and love... we never really know the root motivation with/for either. They just happen to be a part of our natural energy fields. They just show up out of nowhere... or RATHER we just so happen to begin to see them when they are most conducive to our own needs. Polar opposites yet twin sisters; LOVE and FEAR.*

Somehow, I have to balance the scales and allow love to guide me through. To answer the normal questions 

Yes, I love myself. Yes, I know I can complete this task. Yes, I am ready to complete this task. No, I am not comfortable with my weight yet I am comfortable with the skin I am in. No, I am not sure what the fear is or what motivated me towards that fear. Yes, I am open to the experience and I am looking forward to the journey. 

I want to take a moment to talk about how I feel without judgments. 

There is isolation from the reality of my life and dream I have of it. This makes me feel discouraged. I am discouraged from creating a dream life when the reality that I live daily is so off kilter. I feel dissatisfied. I am dissatisfied with being stuck in a cycle that seems never ending. I feel weak. I am weak enough to do nothing and weaker still to complain about me doing nothing. I feel vulnerable. Vulnerable in that I am susceptible to the vile and negative thought processes that will allow me to maintain what currently is my reality which will make it forever more a part of me. These FEARS erode my being in a moment to moment battle with my wits, hear even my spirit. This battle makes me feel defeated. Being defeated carries with it the lack conversation and ABOVE all else I desire to speak about ABUNDANCE!!!! Having had that emotional intercourse I am left wanting. I want to change how I feel and of course that would take actions. Actions take effort.

I do have a plan which I plan to adhere to. I am looking for support from myself as well as like minded people. I realize this is a lifestyle change one that will take time. I welcome the adventure and I am ready for the journey. I am so very grateful for new beginnings that hold within them clarification. 

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” 
― Dr. Seuss

Con Amor!
Love is... TL